Don’t let work define who you are. I’m talking about living your life to the fullest and doing all those things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t. Yay. When my boys were young, money was tight, and I barely had enough time to do the bare essentials; work, take care of my children, cook and clean. You are bored because you keep saying “Nah” to the things you should be saying, “Fuck yes!” to and now you have nothing to talk about when you go on first dates so nobody ever calls you back. It’s also fun to be around adults with these qualities. Throw out the list and make a new one full of things that light you up. We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time. Because they're skipping so many of these categories! An empath, according to Dr. Judith Orloff, a pioneer in the field, describes empaths as someone who absorbs the world’s joys and stresses like “emotional sponges.”. 2. I imagine artists and athletes might be in this category. As you notice what you’re feeling, take action and do something about it. I still consider myself a loner and prefer the company of myself and my family, but I’ve struck a balance by choosing which social interactions bring me the most joy. You know what the difference is between you and a person who has plans for this Saturday night? I don’t know how to break that to you any more gently. But I’m not talking about them today. Sign: You always see the negative or have a “glass half full” attitude. Cut the bullshit – we both know you’ve turned down several invitations to hang out over the past month because it seemed too hard or too far or it was too cold outside and you weren’t feeling social. If you’re like me, the last thing you want to do is bore the hell out of everyone around you and lead a life so uninteresting that even you find yourself annoyingly dull. It's one thing to be perceived as being boring and it's another to actually be boring. You may unsubscribe at any time. And then you wonder why you’re lacking connection. It … Oftentimes people will say, “don’t worry about that, just be yourself”. I was envious of other kids, with their fascinating personalities, laughing and having fun while all I could feel was anxiety and fear. The difference is it’s not debilitating anymore, and I don’t let those fears stop me from experiencing my life or compromise my life goals. We are social beings. If you’re a loner who feels lonely and isolated: The solution for me at least, is not so much forcing myself to get out into more social situations; it’s choosing the right activities and people that motivate me to do it. 3. What a “Plain” name. Solution: Make time, even if only once in a blue moon, to do something out of the ordinary — anything, big or small. What is your definition of happiness? If you're emphatically boring, you're probably missing the other person's body language. Fun people tend to get out there in life and do things. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for. Your life might get a lot less boring. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. Boring people stay put; interesting people like to explore. I remember it being something new and refreshing. Biggest Regrets In Life: What Will You Regret On Your Deathbed? This goes back to leaving your comfort zone. Solution: Get a hobby, get out there and meet other people who enjoy that same hobby. I always had an excuse. I once had someone stop to “thank me” for smiling at them. STOP!!! Sorry to give you the most cliché answer available but it’s probably true. At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away. Mix things up a bit. I highly recommend the book”‘The empaths survival guide: life strategies for sensitive people. I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end. 10 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Your Life Is So Boring Right Now 1. I still work hard, but now I try to play just as hard. Sign: Not everyone has the time, money or inclination to get out there and suck the marrow out of life. You feel uncertain about letting your true self show through. You have no drive to do anything beyond working, eating and sleeping. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a … Everything you do has to be planned to the “T.” (I’m a big planner but I have a spontaneous side now too), You always take the practical, safe route in life. I never say much, let alone anything important. It was both exhausting and unnatural. 101 Simple Adventures You Can Do Every day: Bust Out Of That Rut. It matches my plain face, plain body, plain house, plain well basically every other aspect of my life, but what makes me “Plain.”? 4) You feel terrible and you look even worse. Dance Like No One Is Watching Instead Of Worrying What People Think, Why I Was Bored living in France! If you are in your 30s or older and still don’t know the answers to these questions, it could be that you haven’t found your purpose in life yet. The problem is you have no idea how to be less boring. Some might think this isn’t healthy but what I’ve discovered is that I’ve become more mindful and self-aware as a result. (The key is balance. Without life experiences, what do we talk about. Now, at least for me, it feels very boring. If you’re searching for some inspiration, check out my list of 101 inspiring adventure quotes. You cannot source a travel partner so you don’t purchase the ticket. Surprise, surprise. Without these experiences, I might not have moved to France, Eloped to Scotland, or moved to Japan when I was 18 years old and lived there for 3.5 years. See a recent post on Tumblr from @who-i-xm about why-am-I-so-boring:-(. My life started to change after that and some of my fondest memories were during this period when I learned to feel better in my own skin and learned my irrational fears of being boring were controlling my life. You don’t know anybody at the party so you don’t go. Here is what years of experiments and trial and error have unearthed for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve worried about what others thought of me and struggled with the insecurity that I was a dull, boring and uninteresting person. Stop planning everything. I feel like im really boring, and I just shouldnt say anythng at all I also dont have like any hobbies because I cant do anything right...like I mean excel You’ll need at least one buddy for this, but this is a great way to avoid a boring life. They found that social isolation resulted in a 50 percent increase in premature death and increased stress and cortisol levels. You might even be bored when you are with people because you are with the wrong people. I'll trim it but I am again too lazy to retake the picture. You’re not supposed to care what other people think. Go outside, man. Expert reveals how to beat tiredness in lockdown LOCKDOWN is boring and lonely, but lots of Brits are complaining about tiredness or lack of sleep. It was painful to listen to this person’s negative self-talk and I didn’t always know how to respond because I was dealing with my own struggles. Sometimes we feel boring because we assume that people won’t find our thoughts or lives interesting. No Fluff. Why Is Life So Boring? I have spent the last (almost) 15 years living abroad (I'm in my 5th foreign country now) and the pattern is always the same: 1. Try it; it works. I think it may have been why I was so shy, especially in crowds. Enough about me. Discover what's stopping you from saying what you want to say, Conversation starters and more. The choice is yours. If you're emphatically boring, you're probably missing the other person's body language. 35 Humor Techniques that Work for Everyday Conversations. “Life without adventure would be deadly dull.” 5. Boring people are more easily amused and are easier to keep happy. Listen, take a step back and examine your motives for complaining. Try engaging with the person you’re talking to by asking him or her questions. Start small and do something new every day. All Smiles or all frowny? The first step in overcoming some of your fears about being a boring person is recognizing that these are irrational fears. Sometimes, I force myself to get out and do something new, even when I don’t feel like it. By doing so, I built courage and achieved personal growth. In 2015, researchers from Brigham Young University looked at multiple studies on loneliness and isolation, involving several hundred thousand people. In fact, your anxiety is what’s making you feel boring in the first place: It prevents you saying anything that might risk embarrassment (which is almost everything). You may not even see yourself as a downer, but call yourself a realist. I changed the narrative by identifying and facing my fears. By facing my fears and insecurities, I was facing my bully, acknowledging its presence but not letting it have power over me. If you often ask yourself “why am I so boring”, that might be a sign of low self-esteem. I used to be so hung up on climbing the corporate ladder. Physically, emotionally or mentally (maybe all three). Month of Thoughtful & Happy Quotations In A Glass Jar, Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving, The Martha Manual: How to Do (Almost) Everything, researchers from Brigham Young University, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. Why am I so boring? Fun people like to laugh, tell jokes and let loose once in a while, the total opposite of an uptight person. I look forward to these things which I think make me more interesting to others, especially those that share my interests. You turn down invitations to go out with others too often. Picture the finance guy or lawyer who has nothing to talk about other than his job. I used to dread the lunch bell and often ate alone at lunch. Sign: When you make work your life’s purpose, you’re almost guaranteed to become a boring person. I’m not talking about vegging out in front of the T.V. They look around, and all they see are problems and trouble instead of relaxing and having fun. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “why am I so boring?” or wondered “how to be less boring,” you’re not alone. These fears and insecurities weren’t rational; nonetheless, they made me feel inadequate and stopped me from living my life to the fullest. I would love to tell you that I completely overcame my insecurities, but the truth is, I still feel remnants of those old childhood pangs; shyness. Cut the bullshit – we both know you’ve turned down several... 2. “But then I’d have to put on real pants” is a legitimate excuse that you use to not do things. Complaining about everything is a little bit like being really uptight. These childhood struggles and worries left their mark on my life and scarred part of my soul, but they also helped shape who I am today. It’s like that famous quote, “do one thing every day that scares you.”. Dude. Unfortunately, the long-lasting psychological effects of living like a loner are feeling lonely or isolated at times. I think making someone laugh was a self-defence mechanism to admit to a flaw and make light of it through laughter before someone else could notice or say something. Because you didn’t budget yours for travel. A simple piece of advice, but a solid one. It's actually more challenging to satisfy the needs of somebody who isn't boring...but that's part of why people are drawn to them. Otherwise, you’ll be forever bored with your life. Here are the top 10 things that I feared the most and how I conquered these fears. So like I was saying, I made an organizer for it. I hope my story and some of the things I list in this article give you some ideas and help with your particular situation. I adopted a “fake it till you make it attitude.” My friends today are surprised that I feel shy and secure inside. You need to go get some. My friends today are surprised that I feel shy and secure inside. I still felt them, it never goes away however I’ve learned to manage them. like some tired, overworked couch potato. How I Beat Expat Boredom. why am i so boring and lame? Consider adding new friends to your circle and shake things up a bit. 1-You Talk Non-Stop About Things That Only Interest You. We have to be specialists, whereas we would – deep in our hearts – surely be so much more fulfilled if we could be wide-ranging, endlessly curious generalists. The people around you might say hello in one of those “I shouldn’t be talking” voices or they might not. You’re so over the bar scene, the dating scene and the travel scene. Usually I quit mid competitive match and I don't even care about the cooldown. AnnieAndre.com is reader-supported through ads and affiliate links. Before you know it, people will call you “THE FUN ONE”. There’s no joy in being around someone like this because you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them. Make a conscious effort to see the silver lining in every situation, whether it’s a lesson to be learned or something that could have a positive impact on the future. I don’t necessarily like every social situation, but throughout the years, I’ve found that there are certain social situations that I would do again, while others give me anxiety. Solution:  Sometimes life can get you down but when life gives you lemons make lemonade. I ended up droning on and on, talking only for the sake of talking. By putting yourself out there, you have the added benefit of having more experiences outside of work, which means you just might have more to talk about. Learn about us. When you’re passionate about a subject, sport, hobby or pastime, it becomes part of who you are. Sign: if you notice you’re doing all the talking and the other person has gone quiet, it might be a sign the other person is not interested or engaged. First of all, being a loner is not bad; however, being a loner may not be by choice if it causes you to feel lonely and isolated. You didn’t do that because you were too scared of rejection and now you’re bored. I was in a new city, a new school, a new setting, and I didn’t know anyone except my aunt, uncle and cousins. You can try to activate them and help them see things differently and if they don’t reciprocate, you’ve done your part. Sign: When I think of a boring grouchy person, I picture scowling faces and furrowed eyebrows. If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. If you’re clinically depressed or have Asperger’s, this is not an article for you. Pick and choose your battle and let loose once in a while. Here’s a question: How many Netflix shows have you watched this week compared to how many places you’ve gone? All I could see were problems everywhere, and it consumed me and oozed into other parts of my life. I do, however, admire charismatic and lively people with vibrant personalities. It made me a not so fun person to be around. Here’s the psychology behind this. In reality, it was probably my anxiety showing through, and then it just became my face in its natural state. The simple act of smiling can not only lift the spirits of another person but also your own. Insecurity could cause you to be boring. Solution: Resist your urge to be overbearing and controlling or judgy. You park your car, walk in, someone says hello and hands you a bulletin. It was fun to play with randoms, friends, it was fun to master new maps and spend hours. Video games can get real boring when you're blasting through the enemy and overcoming challenges as if you have god mode enabled. So what’s the answer? But life doesn’t happen from behind the glare of your phone screen. I have not played this game for really that long (over 350 hours) and it's already making me sick. You’re so afraid of looking like you’re doing something alone that you don’t even consider the alternative. I feel so empty, like I have nothing inside. “Don’t look at my bloated face, I look like a blowfish”. Solution: Chronic complainers feel as if the world has given them the short end of the straw. Garrick Saito argues that what makes a person … Why am I so awkward and boring? Garrick Saito argues that what makes a person …
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